Why the Mail?

You go about your everyday life and don't think about some things day to day. You get into a somewhat "Normal" routine. I mean the closest thing to normal. Get up, take Tucker to RahRah's, go to work, come home, make dinner, play with Tucker and Lula, bed and then start all over again. Then you do something like checking the mail. Why check the mail? I mean all it usually has in it are bills and junk mail. What is the fun anyway? But when something you are not expecting like a letter from the Oncology clinic comes in the mail your heart stops and you go back. You know, back. I thought for a while. Did I not pay them? Why would they send me something? then I opened it. It was just a letter confirming another PET scan schedualed for November. Really I thought 7 months before I have to panic and you send me a letter? Then I thought of Tucker and the baby growing inside me. What if something did Heaven forbid show up on the scan. Then I thought about the night I met Patrick. I was half broken, weak even. But he didn't care. He didn't care that it could come back, he didn't care that the hair on my head at that moment was a wig, he didn't care that my immune system was so fragile that getting sick could send me straight to the hospital. Crazy man instead fell in love with me. asked me to marry him even. I look back and thank God that He knew I needed this man to be in my life, forever. But I still can't help but think what if? what if? I mean, what if, I know he is a strong man but I pray that I never leave him in that situation. I pray that these babies realize and know what kind of man their daddy is. I love him for the son, brother, father, man he is. for the man he is.